The To Do While Single List

 Why can't we, Torah Observant ladies enjoy being single? Christian and non Christian ladies are encouraged to enjoy their singleness. I think we spend too much time learning to be wives, mothers, and finding husbands. Why not make a long list of things we want to do, or accomplish while we're single. We'll call it our "To Do While Single" list. Here's a few things I want to accomplish.

                               To DO While Single List
 
                               1. Visit all 50 States
                               2. Go on a trip with a friend
                               3. Write a novel
                               4. Get a painted Henna tattoo
                               5. Create an Etsy shop 
   
  After you make your list, turn it into a race to complete before you meet Mr. Right.  I'm positive you'll enjoy your singleness much more, and it won't seem like a horrible thing to be. Having a few friends that are single also helps you to be content. Singleness also gives you more time to grow closer to YAHWEH. It also helps you to work on your other relationships with family and friends. 


  It's still okay to be a little unhappy during your singleness period. You're human, and a young woman. You're going to be unhappy some days when you see acquaintances getting engaged, marrying, and having children. You might ask yourself; am I not attractive enough, am I too shy, do I have a character flaw, am I too boy crazy, or do I chase the boys too much? The reason you're single could be one, a few, or all of those things. Maybe YAHWEH wants you to be single, so you can follow HIS plan. YAHWEH'S plan isn't always the plan we want for our lives, but HE does know best, and all HE asks, is that we trust in HIM.

  I myself have gone through phases where I except my singleness, become content, and start to really enjoy being single. Until I go on Facebook, or Istagram and see a friend switch their status to "in a relationship, engaged, getting married, or pregnant." I used to hide that friend for a time, until I got over it, then unhide them. There were also a few times that I cried, because I've wanted it to happen to me, and not my friend. So many of my friends are in relationships, engaged, married, and pregnant now. I finally came to terms that it doesn't matter how much you want it. If YAHWEH doesn't want it to be you, then you have to accept that. No amount of praying or pleading will make HIM change HIS mind. HE'LL let you know when it's your time. 

  That doesn't mean that I don't feel a little disappointed when a friend changes they're single status. I do, but I do something to cheer myself up. We should thank YAHWEH every day that we're single, so that we can grow closer to HIM. We should have a close relationship with HIM before we marry. Sometimes we can only lean and count on YAHWEH. People will come and go, make us happy, and disappoint us. But HE will always be there for us, and never disappoint us. So we CAN trust in HIM, we just have to let go and let HIM take control.   
   

  

      There are probably better ways to broach this subject, but I'll just come right out and say it.  Why do Torah Observant people look at young ladies wrong, when she tells them that she's single, but not actively searching, because she is working on a small career? Many married, T. O. women, teach their daughters that their place is only in the home. They say that girls should only focus on home making skills, and work on her spirituality. Mothers almost loose their minds when their daughter tells them they want to look into a career.  For some reason mothers automatically think you're saying that you don't want to be a wife and mother that G-D created women for. I know, because my mother acted the same way. She told me that a woman's place was mainly in the home, and that the only acceptable jobs to have as a home maker are; Being a writer from home, having an Etsy shop, volunteering, (which I have nothing against, because I've volunteered), baby-sitting, being a nanny, and going to Israel to help during their harvest time.  Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with any of these jobs, we're just not encouraged to obtain anything bigger than these jobs.

    Young women like myself shouldn't be told that the only acceptable career is becoming a stay at home mom. We should feel encouraged to become doctors, lawyers, cosmetologists, mechanics, engineers, builders, architects, medics, chefs, soft wear designers, wedding planners, event planners, fashion designers, inventers, shop owners, investors, interior designers, whatever you feel G-D is leading you to become. You can still be a attentive mother with most of those jobs, some of those other jobs might require your future husband to be the stay at home spouse, and some of them require less amount of work that no one would notice that you have another job, besides being a home maker.
Young men aren't the only ones who want to become something great. Young men have so much support in achieving a career, and its time young women received the same amount of support and encouragement. Many of you may not like this comparison, but I'm going to say it anyways. Torah Observant people think that they treat their women and girls better than all the middle eastern countries do, and to a certain degree they do, but there isn't a lot of difference.

   Torah Observant men and women both believe that women should only be wives, mothers, and home makers. Torah Observant women are aloud to show more skin, (I have nothing against modesty), they have to cover their hair if they're married, but now single women are doing it now too, only G-D knows why. Torah Observant women are treated with a lot more respect and honor, but that is the only difference of how Arab men and Torah Observant men treat women.

   Parents should be supportive and do everything possible to help their daughters become whatever G-D has called them to be, no matter the career.